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The Little-Known Divorce Tactic That Could Block You From Hiring the Best Lawyers in Massachusetts

In Massachusetts divorces, there’s a little-known strategy that can take the best lawyers off your board before you’ve even made your first move. It’s perfectly legal under the right circumstances. It’s called “conflicting out,” and when used strategically, it can leave you scrambling to find qualified representation in a high-stakes case.

What Is a “Conflict Out” in Divorce?

Under Massachusetts Rule of Professional Conduct 1.7, a lawyer cannot represent a client if doing so would create a concurrent conflict of interest. Thus, if a lawyer meets with one spouse and receives confidential information, they can’t later represent the other spouse in that same matter.

This rule’s intention was to protect clients’ confidentiality and ensure fairness in representation. However, in some divorces, one spouse exploits the rule to limit the other’s access to top legal talent. (See Mass. R. Prof. Conduct 1.7 [concurrent conflicts of interest] and 1.9 [duties to former clients/confidentiality], both current as of August 2025.)

How Spouses Use “Conflicting Out” as a Strategy

Here’s how the tactic plays out: the first spouse to act quickly schedules initial consultations with multiple top-tier divorce lawyers or firms. Once that brief meeting happens with or without a retainer is signed, those lawyers are ethically barred from representing the other spouse in the divorce.

In high-asset or complex cases, where the pool of truly qualified lawyers is small, this can be devastating.

Common warning signs you may be getting “conflicted out”:

• Several highly recommended attorneys decline to meet with you due to a prior consultation with your spouse.
• The refusals come from the most prominent or specialized firms in your area.
• These turn-downs happen soon after your spouse takes the first steps toward divorce.

The “Reverse King Midas” Effect

It’s a bit like the King Midas legend, except instead of turning everything they touch into gold, a spouse can “touch” a lawyer with a single consultation and instantly make them off-limits to you.

How the Tactic Can Backfire

While “conflicting out” might seem like a winning move, it can backfire:

• They block themselves from good options:  in trying to freeze you out, they may eliminate lawyers who would have been perfect for their case.
• They raise suspicion: a judge could question the good faith of someone who consulted with an unusually large number of lawyers.
• They lose strategic diversity:  they may need niche experts later but have already conflicted them out.

Why This Can Hurt Your Case

The impact is most severe in complex divorces involving:

• Business ownership and valuation
• High-value real estate or investment portfolios
• Significant retirement or stock assets
• Contested custody or relocation cases
• Alimony disputes involving irregular income streams

When the talent pool is already small, losing just a few key lawyers can severely limit your options.

Can You Fight Back?

Unfortunately, there’s no quick fix. While it’s possible to argue that your spouse intentionally conflicted you out of many attorneys to gain an unfair advantage, you usually need legal counsel to raise that claim and unfortunately by then, the damage may already be done.

Massachusetts courts generally apply the conflict rules strictly to protect confidentiality, even when one party’s motives are questionable.

How to Protect Yourself

Speed is critical. If you suspect divorce is coming:

1. Consult with a qualified attorney immediately:  ideally more than one, so you have backup options.
2. Look beyond “big names”: there are excellent family law attorneys in Middlesex and Essex counties who focus on complex divorce.
3. Choose skill over brand recognition: the best lawyer for your case is one who knows Massachusetts divorce law inside and out, and understands your unique financial and family circumstances.

Bottom Line

“Conflicting out” may be legal, but it’s a dirty, high-risk tactic and sometimes the risk is to the spouse who tries it. In Massachusetts, Rule 1.7 exists to protect both sides, not to give one the upper hand. If you think your spouse might be making the rounds with top attorneys, act quickly to secure your own legal team before your options disappear.

FAQs

Can a lawyer represent both spouses in a divorce?

Absolutely not. Once a lawyer has received confidential information from one spouse, they are ethically prohibited from representing the other spouse in the same matter.

Are there enough divorce lawyers in Massachusetts to avoid being conflicted out?

In most cases, yes but in complex divorces with specialized issues the pool of truly qualified lawyers can be small. That’s why you need to get ahead of the game. 

How much does it cost to hire a Massachusetts Divorce attorney? 

It depends, costs vary by location within the state and based on complexity.At Wright Family Law Group, we focus exclusively on family law, empowering our clients through some of the most difficult moments of their lives. From our offices in Tewksbury and Danvers, we serve clients across Middlesex and Essex counties. Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation.

Conflict Out in Massachusetts Divorce: Ethical vs. Strategic Use

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only, based on Massachusetts law as of August 2025. It is not legal advice. For advice on your specific situation, consult a qualified Massachusetts family law attorney.